Little Kids, Big Emotions: Grief
It’s been a long process, but I’ve come to the last emotion of the series. If you haven’t had a chance, make sure to go back and check out all these great book lists – happy, sad, mad, shy, enthusiasm, frustrated, silly, calm, anxious, scared, and jealousy!
This book list is one of the hardest ones to create and yet also one of the most important ones on the list. Unfortunately, when it comes to grief, it’s not too picky on who feels it and sometimes that includes children. The feeling of grief can be overwhelming for adults let alone children and I think that it’s extremely important to talk about it and discuss all the different ways it can make you feel. Because grief is not an emotion that comes and goes away quickly, it’s an emotion that comes in waves and sometimes unexpectedly pops up like a surprise.
I’ve collected just a small sampling of books about grief for kids. There are dozens of books out there for a variety of scenarios, but I wanted to give you a place to start, if you needed one. I think it’s important to preview these and see what direction best fits your child and your family, but it also might be helpful to offer a variety because grief can be felt so differently be each and everyone of us.
If you’ve come to this list for some guidance, I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope these books can help you even just a little bit.
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Little Kids, Big Emotions: Grief
Big Cat, Little Cat by Elisha Cooper
There was a cat
who lived alone.
Until the day
a new cat came . . .
And so a story of friendship begins, following the two cats through their days, months, and years until one day, the older cat has to go. And he doesn’t come back.
This is a poignant story, told in measured text and bold black-and-white illustrations about the act of moving on.
The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr
It’s hard to say goodbye to someone.
You might not know what to feel.
But you’ll remember that there will always be someone to love you and hold you tight.
Through the lens of a pet fish who has lost its companion, The Goodbye Book tells a touching and hopeful story about saying goodbye to someone you love. Addressing the host of emotions children experience, Todd reminds readers that it’s okay not to know all the answers, and that someone will always be there to support them. An invaluable resource for life’s toughest moments.
The Heart and the Bottle by Oliver Jeffers
There is a wonder and magic to childhood. We don’t realize it at the time, of course . . . yet the adults in our lives do. They encourage us to see things in the stars, to find joy in colors and laughter as we play.
But what happens when that special someone who encourages such wonder and magic is no longer around? We can hide, we can place our heart in a bottle and grow up . . . or we can find another special someone who understands the magic. And we can encourage them to see things in the stars, find joy among colors and laughter as they play.
Ida, Always by Caron Levis, illustrated by Charles Santoso
Gus lives in a big park in the middle of an even bigger city, and he spends his days with Ida. Ida is right there. Always.
Then one sad day, Gus learns that Ida is very sick, and she isn’t going to get better. The friends help each other face the difficult news with whispers, sniffles, cuddles, and even laughs. Slowly Gus realizes that even after Ida is gone, she will still be with him—through the sounds of their city, and the memories that live in their favorite spots.
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst, illustrated by Joanne Lew-Vriethoff
Parents, educators, therapists, and social workers alike have declared The Invisible String the perfect tool for coping with all kinds of separation anxiety, loss, and grief. It’s also been joyfully embraced as a year-round celebration of love–gifted at births, graduations, weddings, Valentine’s Day, and beyond. In this relatable and reassuring contemporary classic, a mother tells her two children that they’re all connected by an invisible string. “That’s impossible!” the children insist, but still they want to know more: “What kind of string?”
The answer is the simple truth that binds us all: An Invisible String made of love. Even though you can’t see it with your eyes, you can feel it deep in your heart, and know that you are always connected to the ones you love. Does everybody have an Invisible String? How far does it reach? Does it ever go away? This heartwarming picture book for all ages explores questions about the intangible yet unbreakable connections between us, and opens up deeper conversations about love.
Just What To Do by Kyle Lukoff, illustrated by Hala Tahboub
When you see someone sad, it’s only natural to want to cheer them up. But how? Some people like hugs but others don’t. Sometimes a joke is more comforting than a card. How can you do the just-right-thing if you don’t know what it is?
The Memory Tree by Britta Teckentrup
Fox has lived a long and happy life in the forest, but now he is tired. He lies down in his favourite clearing, and falls asleep for ever. Before long, Fox’s friends begin to gather in the clearing. One by one, they tell stories of the special moments that they shared with Fox. And so, as they share their memories, a tree begins to grow, becoming bigger and stronger with each memory, sheltering and protecting all the animals in the forest, just as Fox did when he was alive.
The More You Give by Marcy Campbell, illustrated by Francesca Sanna
Once there was a wide-open field, and a boy who loved his grandmother, who loved him back.
The boy’s grandmother gives him many gifts, like hugs, and Sunday morning pancakes, and acorns with wild and woolly caps. And all her wisdom about how things grow. As the boy becomes a father, he gives his daughter bedtime stories his grandmother told him, and piggyback rides. He gives her acorns, and the wisdom he learned about how things grow. His daughter continues the chain, then passing down gifts of her own. Here is a picture book about the legacy of love that comes when we nurture living things—be they people or trees.
The Rough Patch by Brian Lies
Evan and his dog do everything together, from eating ice cream to caring for their prize-winning garden, which grows big and beautiful. One day the unthinkable happens: Evan’s dog dies. Heartbroken, Evan destroys the garden and everything in it. The ground becomes overgrown with prickly weeds and thorns, and Evan embraces the chaos.
But beauty grows in the darkest of places, and when a twisting vine turns into an immense pumpkin, Evan is drawn out of his isolation and back to the county fair, where friendships—old and new—await.
There Was a Hole by Adam Lehrhaupt, illustrated by Carrie O’Neill
Lily has a hole. It eats her joy, makes her angry, and–no matter what Daddy does to try to help–it just keeps growing. So Lily retreats. But a friend lets her in on a secret (he has a hole too!) and shows her the best way to repair holes: spend time on friends, family, the things you love, yourself, and kindness. Those patches don’t make the hole go away, but they help. A lyrical and age-appropriate story for learning to cope with grief and loss.
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Krasny Brown, illustrated by Marc Brown
Straightforward and comprehensive, this indispensable book is a comforting aid to help young kids and families through a difficult time in their lives. No one can really understand death, but to children, the passing away of a loved one can be especially perplexing and troublesome. This is true whether the loss is a family member, friend, or pet. Here to offer advice and reassurance are the wise dinosaurs from the bestselling Dino Tale series. This succinct and thorough guide helps dispel the mystery and negative connotations associated with death, providing answers to kids’ most-often asked questions.
You’ll Be There by Amanda R. Hill, illustrated by Joanne Lew-Vriethoff
Our loved ones are always with us, and we can remember them not only with past experiences, but with future ones as well. Whether it’s making a snowman just like they used to, or watching the fireworks they would love, or simply being thankful for the time spent with them, they will always be there. This companion book to You’ll Find Me offers gentle and positive ways to incorporate a lost loved one’s presence into future life experiences.
